For no reason in particular, I went from feeling good a few days ago to feeling down. I was able to curb my low mood yesterday morning by simply working through tasks on my desk and in my email knowing that I had an outing planned in the afternoon - something to anticipate. I made the outing even better by taking advantage of the unseasonably warm weather to walk my adorable dog, who always makes people smile and talk to me. This helped me get out of myself. Yet by bedtime, I was agitated and unable to fall asleep as easily as I normally do.
Consequently, this morning I woke up tired and with anxiety rather than just low. I used my favorite self-soothing tool (making fists and then letting go several times) to no avail. I tried taking some deep slow breaths, but that didn't help either. Then I remembered that "feelings are not facts" - that even though I was feeling uncomfortable, to say the least, it didn't mean that my world was collapsing. I wasn't going crazy, I didn't have to down a bunch of anti-anxiety pills (or even one), and I need not end up in the hospital again. I just needed to feel my feelings and get on with my day - eat breakfast, check my email, take a bath, brush my teeth, keep a couple of appointments, do some errands, etc.
After all of that, I still don't feel very good, but I feel a bit better. The point is that I don't feel any worse. If I let myself get caught up in thinking how bad I feel and that oh my gosh, I will never feel good again, I will inevitably feel worse. I will feed the anxiety or depression or anger or whatever is going on. Those of us with mood disorders do experience moods more exaggerated than the "normals" out there. The secret is to let feelings be just that, feelings. Let them pass through our mind or in the case of my anxiety, pass through the body.
As I've written this, I've felt a bit worse because I'm thinking about it. So what I need to do for myself is wrap up this bit and get busy with another writing project, one that helps me escape in a good way and have something to show for it. I need to remember that even "normals" have up and down moods. It is part of this condition called being human. I can only do my best to take care of myself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually and then let my feelings be what they are - feelings. Not good, not bad, and especially not facts.
Consequently, this morning I woke up tired and with anxiety rather than just low. I used my favorite self-soothing tool (making fists and then letting go several times) to no avail. I tried taking some deep slow breaths, but that didn't help either. Then I remembered that "feelings are not facts" - that even though I was feeling uncomfortable, to say the least, it didn't mean that my world was collapsing. I wasn't going crazy, I didn't have to down a bunch of anti-anxiety pills (or even one), and I need not end up in the hospital again. I just needed to feel my feelings and get on with my day - eat breakfast, check my email, take a bath, brush my teeth, keep a couple of appointments, do some errands, etc.
After all of that, I still don't feel very good, but I feel a bit better. The point is that I don't feel any worse. If I let myself get caught up in thinking how bad I feel and that oh my gosh, I will never feel good again, I will inevitably feel worse. I will feed the anxiety or depression or anger or whatever is going on. Those of us with mood disorders do experience moods more exaggerated than the "normals" out there. The secret is to let feelings be just that, feelings. Let them pass through our mind or in the case of my anxiety, pass through the body.
As I've written this, I've felt a bit worse because I'm thinking about it. So what I need to do for myself is wrap up this bit and get busy with another writing project, one that helps me escape in a good way and have something to show for it. I need to remember that even "normals" have up and down moods. It is part of this condition called being human. I can only do my best to take care of myself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually and then let my feelings be what they are - feelings. Not good, not bad, and especially not facts.
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